A McDonald’s has opened in the vicinity of the Vatican, close by in a Vatican owned building which houses several senior Cardinals. The Cardinals objected saying, “Why couldn’t we get that Hard Rock Cafe which is opening on Via della Conciliazione, the main boulevard leading to St. Peter’s? We can’t ‘unwind’ at a McDonald’s.

Not only that, but we’d like customers to ‘Kneel to order and Pay when absolved’ and to use only ‘extra virgin’ olive oil on all salads. Is that asking too much?”

In a nod to its new location, McDonald’s changed their menu. In addition to ‘Franciscan fries’ they’ve changed the standard ‘Filet-O-Fish’ to ‘Filet-O-Fisher-Of-Men.’

An opening day special of two all-beef Pontiffs special sermon lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun was offered. “Not good enough” said L’osservatore Romano, the official Vatican newspaper, “The ‘original syntax’ is still discernable.

Besides, Their spokesperson’s outfit is more colorful than ours!”