Singing Nuns and the Pope’s garage sale

What would be the most unbelievable song an Italian Nun could sing?

Couldn’t be Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ could it? Or could it?

Pope Francis is not the only one who is roiling the church. Italy’s singing nun, Sister Cristina Scuccia, is the winner of “The Voice of Italy” and that’s the song she chose.

The religious global sensation ignited the singing world with her rendition of Alicia Keys’ “No One” in the talent show’s blind audition and got more than 50 million hits on YouTube. She’s another Si of ‘Gangnam Style’ fame.

Did she become emboldened by new Vatican thinking as envisioned by Pope Francis?

The Pope-Mobile’s bumper sticker showed that things had changed in the Vatican. It read ‘My other car is a Ford Focus’

Pope Francis has proven to the world that he is a man who is changing Vatican protocols and talking about concepts that some see as radical thinking.

To fund his program of feeding the poor he’s going to dip into the Vatican museums and library treasures and go directly to Ebay.

“We’re going to liquidate some of the treasures the church has accumulated over the years and build low cost housing for the poor and downtrodden. That should give Pat Robertson a few shows worth of material.

For one thing, this pointy mitre should fetch a couple of bucks. I had 3 of them knocked off my head last month in these short Vatican doorways and I almost poked out Monsignor O’Malley’

Can't get these bad boys at your local shoe outlet
Can’t get these bad boys at your local shoe outlet

s eye last week.

I’ve been down in the cellar and we’ve got some things we need to get rid of. No, not those dusty skulls, just the good stuff, like booty we haven’t catalogued from the middle ages. We could probably wholesale our collection of medieval pikes, iron maces and spiked flails to Valdimir Putin to use for his next election cycle.

There are all kinds of Bruno Magli red leather shoes that were hardly ever worn. I mean none of the Popes ever went dancing in them. We have capes that would do Liberace proud.”

Asked about speculation that a woman could be among the newly appointed cardinals, he said: “I don’t know where that idea comes from but Angelina Jolie would be welcome any time.

And don’t think that rides around the grounds in the Pope-Mobile are out of the question. I know some world leaders that would kill to get behind that wheel.”

Today’s font type is ‘Times New Roman’ in homage to Pope Francis