Canada needs our help!
Our benevolent neighbor to the north (Not Mexico; that’s south) needs help and fast! Canada has been a good neighbor and have not even threatened to invade us but they’ve been going downhill for about a decade now and we can prove it. For Canadian drinkers of decent beer, which for years had been Labatt Blue and Molson Canadian, Budweiser and Coors Light have taken over the number 1 and 2 positions as most popular beers. Why?? That all has changed, and beer may slip into the ennui of ‘gettin’ high’ because there’s nothing else except watching Dwayne Johnson (Yes, he’s a Canadian) action movies because you can’t leave the house in the winter months of, well, all of them.
On October 17th in the entire country of Canada, Cannabis became legal for recreational use. The other country where pot is legal is a small South American country called Uruguay where the natives are no longer ‘restless’. (Recreational use is defined as smoking it while watching a Cheech and Chong movie, prior to entering any establishment where junk food and other sweets are sold and a celebratory gathering such as any day that ends in a ‘Y’)
America as a country became so jealous we almost threw up in our collective mouths when we realized that Canada became ‘cool’. (Not weather-wise)
Midnight of the day it became legal saw lines outside licensed stores which stretched south to Buffalo, New York. They started smoking it with a vengeance! In fact, they smoked so much of it that demand far exceeded supply. It has spurred additional business opportunities as well. A Girl Guide, the Canadian equivalent of Girl Scouts, sold 30 boxes of cookies outside an Edmonton pot store in 45 minutes and earned the first ‘wow this is some good s#*t merit badge’
Now they need our help. Caravans of pot purveyors have linked up from Miami to Seattle to deliver weed for our neighbors to the north and hopefully it doesn’t get ‘used up’ along the way. If that happens we may very well see a byzantine line of cars snaking its way around the Grand Canyon with its occupants going “Whoa, look at that hole!” and “Holy shit, Jimmy, you’re driving too close to the edge” and “Where’s the nearest Duncan Donuts?”
As the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers used to say “Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope”
Help is on the way, if we could only figure out north from south!