California drivers laughed when they heard the news about a 124 mile long (200 Kilometers) traffic jam in Russia lasting 3 days.
One L.A. ‘driver’ who was stuck on the 405 Freeway since last August had a comment. “It’s not so bad once you get used to it. Since I’ve been stuck here I haven’t had to pay rent, the vendors supply all my food needs and I’m right behind a Port-A-John truck”.
Although the average person in Los Angeles wasted an average 38 hours per year in highway traffic jams, they spent even more time opting out of unwanted emails, so angry at their filled up inboxes they replied with book length essays when they saw ‘Please take a moment to tell us why you chose to unsubscribe (optional)’ as they ‘opted the hell out’.
Known as ‘Carmageddon’, California 405 is is America’s busiest freeway, and is usually packed with 500,000 rush hour vehicles traveling the 10 miles linking West Los Angeles to the highly-populated San Fernando Valley. Californians have learned to make do in the traffic as they text, eat and start families on the commute.
Generally a 2 foot snowfall is child’s play during the Russian winter, but local towns started closing their exits on their own between Moscow and St. Petersburg, a 400-mile stretch. When asked why, they replied “Because Putin wanted them open”
Russians stuck in the huge traffic jam were incensed when they had to pay 10 times to rate for cigarettes, and roadside cafes gouged them for sausages, bread and vodka as they away spent the snow bound hours sticking pins in their Putin dolls.
It turned out to be a boon for the local police who ran out of D.U.I tickets and had to rely on the honor system for payment of fines. They went broke the following week.