The ‘Tweeter-Elect-In-Chief’ Donald Trump expressed his displeasure at the ultimate cost of the new Presidential jet, Air Force One. At 30 years of age, it’s a lot older than his personal Boeing 757. “It doesn’t have the gold plated toilet that mine does” he said, “When I go, I go in style. The communications systems on Air Force One were designed in the 1980s. That’s like trying to ‘rotary dial’ on a smart phone. You can’t Tweet on a rotary phone. Sad”.
In what was termed ‘The most brilliant move in the universe’, Donald Trump will maintain the Executive Producer title for his hit reality show, the Apprentice. The storyline will change and allow the show to ‘morph on steroids’ according to Kellyanne Conway and turn the United States into the ‘world’s largest and best reality show’.
“We’re currently in negotiation with every city, company, Department of Transportation and police department,” Conway said, “to lease every public and private camera’s output. We’ll have hundreds of editor’s working day and night assembling segments of your friends and neighbors caught ‘being themselves’.
We’ll show off America to the world. The show will debut on every network and every cable provider or we’ll review their license agreements, legally, of course.
It shall be simply called ‘The United States’ and show off our people caught in the act of being them-selves. This will be a spin-off of ‘candid camera’ except Trump enterprises will be making a shit-load of money off of it: in his spare time, of course.