In a press release the Koch brothers said that since the tea party’s aim is to control a smaller government, they would purchase the European country of Luxembourg for that purpose.
“We would ‘go the extra mile’ or meter or liter or whatever passes for distance in Europe to suit our purpose.”
Luxembourg is a parliamentary democracy which is two thirds the size of Rhode Island. “It’s as big as a ranch I own in Texas, said Charles Koch. Totally manageable!
We know it’s a magnanimous gesture for our people. They’ve been bitching and complaining about the size of the Federal Government that so we decided to get it off their backs once and for all. Besides, they’ll still get their social security checks and other benefits in the mail.
Our benefits will be huge. Once we get set up, we’ll apply for some foreign aid and watch the greenbacks roll in. It’ll be just like Iraq, but without the fighting.”
Luxembourg is headed by a constitutional monarch whose powers can be shared. “It’s just a matter of getting the local officials ‘on our side’ said Charles Koch “And just like we did in Congress; do the opposite of what we say.
There are way too many Democrats in Washington and the latest NBC/Wall Street Journal poll showed that the Republican Party and the tea party had a 24 percent and 21 percent approval. That’s too close to the NRA’s rating. It’s time we made a move to a more friendly area” said David Koch.
“Of course we’d prefer an English speaking country so we wouldn’t have to change all the signage. Oh well, there’s a down side to everything” he laughed.
Charles added, “Also, if we move there in August when they’re all on vacation, we won’t have to re-locate their citizens to the south of France. They’ll already be there. All we have to do is solve their ‘no guns’ thing.”