Does tele-medicine work for dentists too?

In the very early days of medicine, doctor/barbers used leeches as blood suckers to cure patients. Have we plodded past the point where the leeches have morphed into lobbyists and doctors don’t even have to be in the same room as a patient?

Telemedicine is the use of technology that enables remote healthcare (telehealth). This makes it possible for physicians to treat patients whenever and wherever the patient is, through computer or smartphone. Of-course it is limited to what the doctor can see and how the patient can describe. It’s cost effective because health care professionals can see many more patients. Will this become the norm if medical benefits are winnowed away?

Telehealth works for us when we’re not so ill as to need a hands-on approach like managing a skin tag. Not to worry!  If your insurance doesn’t cover skin tags all you’ll need are toe-nail clippers, rubbing alcohol and someone to hold you down.

How does this platform translate to other types of medical assistance? If your dental care is not adequately covered by a plan, can dentists make use of the technology too? Let’s check in on a typical tele-dental hook-up.

Dentist: Hello Mrs. Frebbish, can you hear me? Press the ‘join meeting’ button and then ‘join with audio’.

Patient: Doctor, your lips are moving but I can’t hear a thing. Is that your office?

Dentist: No, that’s my garage, it’s just temporary, but who knows?

Patient: Doctor, when I press ‘join meeting’ does that mean there will be other people watching?

Dentist: Actually no, I wouldn’t want witne….I mean others watching. This is just between you, me and my Hippocratic oath.

Patient: my tooth is hurting very badly and I know it’s difficult to do a procedure through a mask. Are you sure this is the right way to approach this?

Dentist: It’s all right Mrs. Frebbish we have the internet tools to get it done and I’ve got your answers to the questions we sent. You seem to have the implements you’ll need for this extraction. I’ve done this before so there’s nothing to worry about unless the pliers slip. Did you purchase the ones with a rubber grip?

Patient: Well Costco had a sale, but I had to go to Loews for the other things. I was able to get a ‘3 pack’ of small flashlights and cotton ‘placers’. I don’t normally drink during the day so I was a little apprehensive about the painkiller you recommended. Luckily, I was able to find the Sierra Silver Tequila at 150-proof, which they referred to as “The Rock That Bites, and that seems appropriate.

Dentist: Not to worry, I feel that by the end of your procedure you won’t remember a thing until you wake up tomorrow, look in your mouth and find a hole where your tooth was. Now did you lay out everything on a clean napkin and wash your hands while singing If you’re happy and you know it, wash your hands? I know that’s a little trite, so the Rolling Stones I Can’t Get No Satisfaction should do it. It would also sum up the reason for this procedure.

Patient: Yes I did wash and sing. I also read the long disclaimer your assistant told me to sign. When I saw that, I was a little worried and I…

Dentist: No, that’s all right, I’m a professional. Let’s do this. Open the tequila, take a big gulp and swish it around in your mouth to anesthetize the area.

Patient: And then spit it out?

Dentist: No, swallow. You’ll need to numb your entire body too.

Patient: And the cotton mouth placers?

Dentist: Might as well soak them in the tequila as well. Can’t be so sure we’re sufficiently numbing.

Patient: I notice you also have a bottle of whiskey next to you. Is that normal?

Dentist: Normal for tele-dentistry today. A lot of my colleague’s drink prior to this process, but I would like to remain sober for most of my morning. Later will be a different story. Now hold that I-Phone close to your mouth and I hope the person holding that flashlight steady isn’t squeamish so we can start. By the way, I notice you have a very hairy cat there. Take it out of the room. I don’t want our procedure to become contaminated. Although tomorrow neither of us will remember there was a cat at all.