In the run up to see whose Johnson is bigger, America is taking steps to restrict importing certain commodities in effect sanctioning Russia and North Korea for possibly having a bigger one (metaphorically speaking)
“Even Russian dressing is verboten” said ‘agent orange’, using a German word to describe something invented in New Hampshire.
In a retaliatory move North Korea, still smarting from a failed missile test because of a defective rubber band, said it was banning downloads of all western music. “We’re proud to have the 477th Pyongyang small arms dealers and people’s military band and kimchi marching unit with the so called starving peasants chorus and their salute to our magnificent Supreme Marshall of the Shining Sun Forever and a Day and Secretary of All He Surveys, including all lands on the Planet, But Not Secretary as in Assistant to Anyone, Kim Jong Un” Chief Title Writer Hay Fuk Me, said in a published report.
“The sanctions will not hurt us, although we’re not shipping our leading export, dirt, to our main trading partner, Bulgaria. They’re full right now.”
A spokesperson for Putin stated “We don’t need anything from the US except maybe we’d like to continue our ‘Sister City’ program.”
The decision to arrest Pussy Riot was a lot easier to make. Their music sucked. It was like you recorded Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and Yoko Ono and edited their voices into one screech as they slipped on a wet tile floor and landed on their bony asses.
Putting a positive spin on the sanctions, Putin said the move would “clear the shelves for domestic producers” like ‘Igor’s Meatless Meat Pies’ and Little Dunia’s Ginger-less Bread Cookies’.