What more appropriate place for Florida Governor Scott to deliver an ‘apology’ about his ham handed and devious handling of the FDLE fiasco than a horse pavilion. The place where horses ‘go’ was mingled with the place where he talked about his so called ‘misstep’. Yes, the horse s*#t was flying!

The Governor has been in ‘trouble’ due his excessive secrecy with traveling, his health-care company Columbia/HCA, which allegedly paid kickbacks to doctors in exchange for patient referrals and then overcharged Medicare with the resulting criminal case showing the largest health-care fraud in American history. They pleaded guilty to 14 felonies and paid $1.7 billion in fines. Then there was prison reform. Contractors operating the 7 privatized prisons in the state were allowed to ‘cherry pick’ the healthiest and least challenging, cheapest to manage prisoners.

When you privatize prisons who do you think gets the shaft? The prisoners.

Officials looked into ‘food service’ for the inmates and found ways to cut back on meals while maintaining a semblance of sustenance. “There will be no more baloney” lawmakers joked as the regulation baloney sandwich inmates now receive will be adjusted to new State specifications as defined by the Governor’s office. New parameters will re-define baloney as ‘A food product which could or could not be seen, felt or weighed as such’.

The new ‘food’ product, which is being rammed through the regulatory channels of the Food and Drug Administration, is called ‘Essence of Baloney’, a fine mist, which will be sprayed between 2 slices of often stale bread. The State then outsourced a ‘no bid’ contract to a lobbyist’s nephew who had recently been appointed to the board of directors of a French perfume company seeking to do business with the State. They had extra spray bottles they wanted to sell.

“They’ll never miss the baloney” said a legislative aide, “Hell, they’ll never even see the baloney because we’re cutting back on lighting in the cafeteria as well. That alone will save enough on the electric bill to buy a new car for the warden.

Of course when we have to utilize ‘old sparky’, the State’s archaic electric chair, we’ll turn the juice back on”.