Paula Deen has had sponsor after sponsor drop her as spokesperson after her admission she had used the ‘N’ word. “I was about to slide out of the public’s money train on a river of bacon grease when Martha Stewart called.”

Deen then engaged Stewart who successfully ‘came back’ into the public’s good graces after her insider trading conviction to take charge of her image and even on house arrest, was able to tape her shows.

“I’m advising Paula to ‘suck it up’ and go back to the things that made her famous like using an abundance of butter, sugar, flour and grease.”

“So she’s lost Random House’s Ballantine Books, the Food Network, Smithfield, Wal-Mart and more, she can pick up U.S. Sugar Corp., Wisconsin Creamery Corp. and the White Flour Producers Group.

Stewart, through her spokesperson said, “This one’s easy; on the whole, getting America back on the path to obesity isn’t really as bad as being a racist.”

Deen said, Martha told me “Don’t think about what you said, just tell your fans to wolf down a big portion of one of those pre-diabetic cakes and let the sugar take over. It’s a bigger rush.”

In the meantime Paula picked up Jimmy’s super market just outside of Savannah as a sponsor. We’ll be doing greasy pork sliders and a butter eating contest over the 4th of July weekend. We’ll have an EMT present for the winners. It’s a start.”

“We’re also producing a line of T-shirts that say “I’d be ‘butter’ off if I kept my mouth shut. I don’t want to be another Mel Gibson.”

“Take it from me, southern cooking is like a long walk in the meadow. Just don’t step in the cow flop”