One way trip to Mars sounds good to some

Mars One’s 2024 privately funded manned mission to the red planet will have to sell a hell of a lot of T-shirts and coffee mugs to make their nut. http://www.mars-one.com/merchandise or they’ll have to call it the ‘Wal-Mart Mission to Savings.’

Mars One, a nonprofit venture to establish a human settlement on Mars, estimates the price tag for the first manned trip at $6 billion, or as a mission scientist states, “If everyone on earth chipped in a buck, it’s a go.”

They announced Monday that after watching more than 200,000 application videos, it chose 1,058 people to move on to the next round of screening.

The ones that weren’t chosen were submitted to a new reality show called ‘One way trip; what were you thinking?’

“The next several selection phases in 2014 and 2015 will include rigorous simulations like living on a goat farm in Uzbekistan for 2 years. “It’s almost like Mars but with goats” says selection specialist Billy Zabayo.

Most of the prospective astro-nuts hailed from the US with 8 of those from Utah.

You have to ask; what is there about Utah that you can’t get far enough away?

Ken Sullivan one of the early selectees, of Farmington, Utah says he is well aware of the risks and difficulties such a mission would entail such as space-flight complications and living for years with the same four people in a structure the size of a two-bedroom apartment.

In other words, just like home except you wouldn’t be able to step out for a cigarette.

“We’re extremely appreciative and impressed with the sheer number of people who didn’t have a life” said a Mars One spokesperson, “We never thought people would go for this. We’re assembling a video of the most unusual requests and playing it at the Christmas party next year.

Typical applications:

Hello, I am Ashish Vernozeglvenaskaya. 24 years. I live in Uzbekistan and herd goats but have had dream of leaving here for another place for all my life. My interests are people, gaming, science and girls.

My name is Cindi. I’m 26 and a high school graduate who hopes to pay my bills on time. I have always wanted to live on another planet. Hobbies are camping (Which I will put on hold) and collecting friends. Can my dog go?

Kristen Hame I’m 38 and live in Australia north of Kalgoorlie. The men here suck! Please consider me for a place on the ship out of here. Living here is like Mars anyway. I like snake collecting, long walks in the outback and solitaire. I’m a big fan of Bruno Mars, will that help?

Bob Gronstein. 56 years young and a lover of Star Trek which made me want to apply. My mother wanted me to do something besides gaming in my room so here I am. I’m used to hanging out with just a couple of people so I think I would be perfect for this. I’m CPR certified which could be a good skill. I often have gas, will this be a problem?

If we sell a billion of these, it's a 'go'
If we sell a billion of these, it’s a ‘go’