North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un beefs up forces, provides comic relief

This is the continuing saga of a spoiled brat who has an entire army at his beck and call.
No, it’s not Rush Limbaugh.

It’s the ‘Greatest Military Poobah and Revered Historian in Recorded History’ Kim Jong-Un.

He never fails to provide comedy material. Ever since his father bought him the tiny country of Liechtenstein, located between Switzerland and Austria, for his 15th birthday, he has felt uber privileged.

On a recent shopping trip to Iran, he was denied a closer look at a designer ballistic missile which was behind the counter of a local arms merchant. With the wisdom of a thousand high school graduates, the ‘Bright Glaring Sun of the Nation’ mercifully had the shop owner beheaded and put on sale.

Kim, a 3rd world dictator with the largest military organization on Earth has embraced some western culture in his quest to provide a modern approach to stone-age rule.

The rationale for having a defense force of that size was the blow back for naming their favorite missile the ‘No-Dong’ (Google that!) and being laughed at by the rest of the world.

His Facebook page has been ‘liked’ by the entire North Korean Army and Dennis Rodman.

The North Korean defense forces are made up of 40% of the entire population of the country or a total of 9 and a half million soldiers who dutifully sing his praises every day at dawn. The song can be heard as far away as Hong Kong if the wind is right.

Kim inspects latest technology. With the click of a mouse he can now watch 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo in his armored car
Kim inspects latest technology. With the click of a mouse he can now watch ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo in his armored car

He also inspects a 'Kick out the Imperialists' dance by his elite all girl death squad and chorus line.
He also inspects a ‘Kick out the Imperialists’ dance by his elite all girl death squad and chorus line.
Squad leader points out soldier who wore blue sox on white sock day. "No Soup for You" his comrades sing in unison.
Squad leader points out soldier who wore blue sox on white sock day. “No Soup for You” his comrades sing in unison.
The vaunted 2nd Division, the 'Stinging Flying Scorpions of Kimche Mountain' as they assemble in their favorite outfits on 'Dress Up Fridays'
The vaunted 2nd Division, the ‘Stinging Flying Scorpions of Kimche Mountain’ as they assemble in their favorite outfits on ‘Dress Up Fridays’
North Korean troops kicking ass. Unfortunately they're kicking each other's ass
North Korean troops kicking ass. Unfortunately they’re kicking each other’s ass
Kim inspects combination death ray and telescope. "Ha ha", he says, "I can see America from here"
Kim inspects combination death ray and telescope. “Ha ha”, he says, “I can see America from here”

Kim inspects tomorrow's lunch, opts for a chop house in Seoul
Kim inspects tomorrow’s lunch, opts for a chop house in Seoul

We have obtained some startling pictures of army life which were smuggled out of Pyong Yang in the frame of a picture of the ‘Triumphant Yet Bitchy as a Real Housewife of Chongying-Gong Leader of our Magnificent Universe.’