There’s a new ‘cover-up’ in Washington DC these days. No, not what you think, but an actual piece of plywood that’s been placed upon a sinkhole which opened up on the north lawn of the White House.

An angel, directed by God, appeared at the scene and pointed a finger at the earth as the small sinkhole materialized. “Here’s the message” intoned the Angel, “God would like you to know that the ‘swamp’ will now be drained” God has always observed the Star Trek Prime Directive which is also a guiding principle of the United Federation of Planets prohibiting the protagonists from interfering with the internal development of alien civilizations. “This time you’ve gone too far” the Lord of the Universe said, “Trump, or whatever name he can be called, can Tweet his ass off from now till Hanukkah but that doesn’t change my mind. That’s the ‘Little Sinkhole that Could’ and by next Thursday the whole White House will be in my basement.”

The opening, symbolically, was on the White House’s North Lawn, close to the briefing room and right outside a deputy press secretary’s office. “Sinkholes, like this one, are common occurrences in the Washington area following heavy rain or a totally blasphemous outpouring of bullshit by the Press Secretary. It’s not the gates of hell opening, but pretty close to it” said a spokesperson for the Associated Press.

National Parks Service spokeswoman Jenny Anzelmo-Sarles said. “We do not believe it poses any risk to the White House or is representative of a larger problem unless the President is distracted by his reflection in a mirror and falls in. Rhe would just get stuck and have to be pulled out, but if it gets any bigger we might get lucky.”