Since the Islamic State’s primary source of revenue is the oil it sells on the black market, raids carried out by US, Saudi and UAE aircraft, which have struck 12 refineries in Syria, have caused their revenues to plummet.

That’s why they’re making this amazing TV offer to infidels everywhere!

“Hello, just call me ‘jihadi john.’ I’m not going to tell you my name and you can’t pronounce it anyway. ISOL is offering an incredible 3 DVD set on how you can create your very own country in just 30 days with a couple of armed trucks, some RPG’s and a group of diehard friends.

That’s right, whether you are a capitalist, Communist or just an ordinary blood-sucking dictator, you can own your very own country in less time than it takes to say “America is the great satan and I don’t mean howa 3aawiz iD-Darb bi-sittiin gazma.” (He deserves to be hit with sixty shoes)

Send $19.95 plus shipping and handling and receive a full color pamphlet on various methods of xeriscaping your tent.

Shipping is 2 to 3 days unless we’re under attack!

Don’t opt for anarchy! Everyone needs some form of control in their lives and you may be just the strong man to pull it off!

If you call in the next ten minutes we’ll double your order, so if you hunger for a Liechtenstein size country,we’ll send instructions on how to topple a ‘Grenada’.

Remember, you may be next…..but not if you purchase now.

Payment in American dollars only, these instructional DVDs are not available in stores.

This offer may be discontinued if the bombing stops so order now!