His ego’s BAAAaack! Trump teases Presidential run in 2014

His ego having not been ‘properly pumped’ lately, Donald Trump signaled a possible bid for the 2016 Presidential nomination. “I was thinking about running for King of England but I’d have to establish residency” Trump said in an email blast to followers.

Suffering a ‘down period’ after his show ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ went off the air until next season, Trump jump started a public relations campaign to get his name back on the front page and his ego back up to par. Par for Trump’s ego can only be measured on the Richter scale.

“Everybody tells me, ‘Please run for president. Please run for president’. So I commissioned a survey.”

“Trump’s research was conducted in 2011, for the 2012 election”, says Michael Cohen, his executive vice president and special counsel. He explained that “Whatever the research showed, Trump would use it to salve his gargantuan ego and run no matter what.”

The research questions had a particular focus such as “If you had a choice between Gary Busey and Donald Trump in the White House, who would you choose?” And ‘If the election were held tomorrow and Donald trump promised you $50,000 dollars cash would you vote for him?’

He explains that the research was a very detailed analysis of how Trump was perceived by the electorate. “He could have saved the money and used Michelle Bachmann’s survey” said Cohen, “those surveys are interchangeable.”

Trump and VP pick Lil Jon. "I want to appeal to the homeys too" said Trump
Trump and VP pick Lil Jon.
“I want to appeal to the homeys too” said Trump

“I’ll be revealing some astounding information about where Obama was born and if he really graduated high school or not” Trump said, as he prepared to fire the persons who didn’t answer the survey questions correctly. ‘By the way, I’ll be running in 2020, 2024 and 2028 as well.