Inter-office memo from: POTUS

Re: FLOTUS

To: Everyone who works in the White House and all of my lawyers past and present

Where did my wife get the idea to promote a campaign to ‘Be Best’ and teach children about cyber bullying? I wanted her involved, but not when it means she can cramp my style and take some of the limelight. I can’t keep her barefoot in the kitchen because I think by law my food has to be prepared by Republican chefs so there’s no chance of food poisoning. That’s why I send Pence to the McDonald’s to pick up my orders.  I trust him and he’ll always make sure there’s a man at the second window so he doesn’t have to interact with a female. Where was I?

Among other things, does she want me to cripple my Twitter tirades? When I spoke to her just a couple of weeks ago as I was walking past her office, she never told me what she planned. Is this some back-ass way of schtupping me? Where is the ‘Mooch’ when you need a helping hand to make the demons go away?

Anyway, as a result of having someone on staff read the initiative and explain it to me, I will be a good President and no longer call out those who disagree with me by giving them names which could be construed as bullying.  From now on I will not call ‘Little’ Marco, ‘Lyin’ Ted, ‘Crooked’ Hillary and ‘Crazy’ Bernie any of those names. I’ll just have them trolled from the podium by Sarah Huckabee Sanders. She’ll say anything.