Banned in Floriduh

Officials at Florida’s Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) have banned the words “climate change” and “global warming” from all official communications since Republican Governor Rick (“I’m not a scientist”) Scott took office in 2011.

This censorship includes reports and emails, according to an investigation published by the Florida Center for Investigative Reporting FCIR.

Four former DEP employees told FCIR that they had been instructed not to use the terms or they would be buried in the sand up to their necks to test the ‘theory’.

In a directive from Scott’s office, the word ‘lobbyist’ and the phrase ‘sleazy politician’ are being eliminated from school texts throughout the State faster than you can say ‘Hey, where’s that water coming from?’

The phrase ‘Worst Governor ever’ and ‘Why are we being called the laughingstock of the country?’ were also placed on a list that will be redacted if they ever cross the desk of anyone with decision making capability in Tallahassee.

DEP employees were told “Not to think too hard” about what might just be a world-wide left wing plot by thousands of peer reviewed climate professionals.

In a press release, the Governor’s office stated, “Just like gravity has never been proven beyond a reasonable doubt, we soundly reject the allegations of those (Ninety-seven percent of climate scientists) who agree that climate-warming trends over the past century are very likely due to human activities (NASA)”

Florida’s DEP is tasked with protecting the state’s ‘air, water and land’ “But only if we have a Democratic majority in Tallahassee. Until then it’s the ‘wild west’” said an undisclosed developer gleefully.

Florida in particular faces major threats from climate change and its impacts. The state has been called “ground zero” for sea level rise which is already flooding Miami Beach streets during high tides.

Five Florida climate scientists sat down with Scott in an attempt to explain the science behind climate change and the effects it’s having in Florida but could not get him to understand the difference between ‘science’ and ‘opinion’.

97% of our climate scientists can't be wrong
97% of our climate scientists can’t be wrong