(Play the circus music now) The clown car has stopped in center ring and is now disgorging its occupants. ‘Fruity’ and the Beast; no, it’s not the latest combo for the Sonic Drive Thru ‘Whacky Pack’ kids meal. This deal might be crazier than 50 cent all day corn dogs. And when did Sarah […]
Jerry Hall, meet geriatric
Here’s the prenuptial agreement signed by Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch. Jerry promises never to laugh out loud when she sees Rupert naked if she happens to lose her way in the house and walk into his bathroom. Rupert promises to utilize a ‘daily dose’ of Cialis or whatever doesn’t give him an erection […]
Kids ‘lap up’ the new USDA food guidelines
Every five years the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services issues new federal food guidelines. This edition includes a daily regimen of 5 eight ounce cups of regular coffee. “That would serve to increase productivity for the economy” said Federal spokesperson Hal Menomeny. “If people are moving faster as […]
North Korean ‘H Bomb’ revealed as huge fart
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un proclaimed their successful test of an H-Bomb, but there’s a hiccup. The Guinness Book of Records reported the ‘H-Bomb’ blast on January 6th in North Korea was in actuality the largest communal fart in the world. ‘Held in’ since 1986 by Korean People’s Army Unit 313 in Pyongyang, the elite […]