An ‘out of this world’ adventure that gives you all the frequent flyer miles you can ever need

Summer’s coming. It’s vacation time. Want to get away from it all? People save up for that dream vacation, but even if you’ve saved every spare dollar, it still would not reach the threshold of the latest offer from NASA. Let’s come down to Earth for a moment.

What’s the cost of a room at the most expensive luxury destination in the world? For the ultimate luxury vacation, there’s a one-day trip to Antarctica leaving Cape Town, South Africa and utilizing a private jet. Travelers have about eight hours to explore the most desolate area of Earth with a gourmet champagne dinner thrown in. The entire trip lasts less than 24 hours but will set you back $195,000. That’s expensive, but not nearly what you could spend for the truly ultimate travel destination. Where would THAT be?

Don’t pack your suitcase with different clothing options for various activities because no, you won’t be leaving the hotel for your entire stay. NASA has decided to give ordinary citizens who have the bucks, the thrill of a lifetime with a trip off the planet. Rocket-and-capsule launch systems being developed by Boeing and Elon Musk’s SpaceX are set to ferry private people to the International Space Station from U.S. soil for the first time in almost ten years.

The view is to die for (unless there’s a meteor strike). It’s out of this world and will cost $35 thousand per night, or what passes for night in space. And you’ll pay extra to get there. That charge will be about $58 million dollars. Do you realize how expensive it is to gas up a rocket with boosters? Yes, it’s a round trip!

Forget about using frequent flyer miles because even if you’ve been saving them since the Pre-Cambrian era, you still won’t have enough for an upgrade to first. Oh, and on the way up, you’ll be shaken more than a James Bond martini in a tornado.

The faux astronauts will have to meet the same medical standards, training and certification procedures as regular crew members, so sending your parents on a 50th anniversary circumnavigation will be a little difficult.

The expenses are steep. Daily access to the life support system and toilet will run you $11250 per day. If you can hold it in for the duration, you’ll get a 10% discount (post trip) and a mention in the Guinness Book of Records. It’s an additional $22,500 a day for food and air. NASA will also charge visitors for food, storage and communication at the station, and once there you won’t be able to wander (or float) at will. Yes, you’ll be paying for the air you breathe and if I’m spending that much on food, I expect white table cloth service and a lengthy wine list, but I’ll probably get freeze dried McNuggets and water derived from our urine output. What do you mean there are no glasses?

This is what you get for lunch at a grand a day

Waste will be discharged at intervals from the space station and will burn up in Earth’s atmosphere, looking just like shooting stars. You’ll be able to communicate to your family on Earth and let them know that heavenly streak to which you directed their attention, was your lunch. When you need sleep, you’ll probably have to wriggle into a Velcro suit and be positioned on a wall so you don’t float all over the place and ruin some 5th grader’s science experiment on how mammals procreate in space. When you reach Earth orbit you will be traveling at 17,500 miles per hour, over 250 miles above the Earth’s surface and going around the entire world every 91 minutes. Transiting the Earth every hour and a half, you’ll accumulate enough frequent flyer miles to get standing room to Mars. Start saving now!

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