US Olympians told to not brush their teeth while in Russia

A terrorist threat warning that explosives could be smuggled in to the Sochi Olympics in toothpaste tubes showed just how far terrorists will go to cause damage to dental hygene.

The Department of Homeland Security is warning some U.S. and foreign airlines traveling to Russia for the Sochi Olympics to watch out for toothpaste tubes.

There are no reports of any armor plated military grade dental floss stopped at the border, which could be used to trip Olympians as they march into the stadium during the opening ceremonies.

Concern has been focused on groups based in southern Russia’s Caucasus region, in particular the Dagestan Republic, a hotbed of terrorist activity.

“We’re really surprised at the possibility of the smuggling of explosives in toothpaste tubes” a spokesperson for Homeland Security stated, “According to reports, they haven’t used toothpaste for years in that region. Vodka is the oral cleanser of choice.”

A spokesperson for the American Dental Association didn’t respond to a request for further comment.

Better to rinse with vodka
Better to rinse with vodka