It’s right up there with your worst nightmare.

A, You’re going to be audited by the IRS
B, An amphibious creature is hiding in your toilet
C, America is switching to the metric system

A customer discovered a snake in the toilet of a Starbucks in San Antonio.

Businessman Bruce Ahlswede discovered what he described as a python, and alerted the barista. He said, “Hey, you’ve got a snake in your bathroom, and she’s kind of freaking out.”

When the staff and customers crowded into the bathroom to see, the reptile disappeared down the toilet yelling, “Hey, can’t a snake get some privacy around here?”

Hoping to add a positive spin, the Starbucks added the ‘Cappuccino Constrictor’ to the menu.

Later, the snake spoke to a reporter from KSAT. “What’s the big deal? I was hungry. I was trying to get into the mouse cage in the pet shop next door. One pipe looks like any other when you’re trying to slither your way to a meal.”

A local snake expert told them it was likely a non-poisonous rat snake, which would be little consolation for a person who was set to end psychiatric visits for treatment of herpeto-phobia.

“It had to have crawled up the pipes,” Ahlswede’s wife Michele wrote on her Facebook page.

A website for the University of Austin Amphibian and Reptile Diversity Research Center says the snake posed no threat to humans while the snake’s home page mentioned staying away from Starbucks unless you could lock the bathroom door.