Donald Trump’s sons are trying to raise money to help pay for the $25 million dollar judgement against their father since he lost his Trump University case. They’ve formed a non-profit in Texas and will be selling ‘access to the Donald’ through the inaugural weekend festivities in exchange for million-dollar donations to unnamed “conservation” charities, according to interviews and documents reviewed by the Center for Public Integrity.
Million-dollar donors to the “Opening Day 2017” event receive a “private reception and photo opportunity for 16 guests with President Donald J. Trump,” and more.
A “multi-day hunting and/or fishing excursion” with aging rocker Ted Nugent who has offered to shoot a live deer on stage at the Inaugural Ball and give its liver to the highest bidder.
The million dollar ‘Weasel’ executive package also includes a Trump Tweeting session after midnight in the confines of the Trump inner sanctum and a selfie over-looking the Central Park view. The package also allows you to choose any corner office Trump lawyer to sue up to 8 people of your choice for whatever reason you want.
The half million dollar ‘Raccoon’ package is an overnight adventure driving around the wilds of South Houston Street including 18 security personnel with dogs and as dawn breaks setting out bags of flaming dog poo on the steps of New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio’s front steps. An added component will be a strategy session with Sarah Palin as she lays out her vision for the future of reality television.
The quarter million dollar‘Coyote’ package honors the men and women of the military who did not get captured and includes an autograph ‘session’ with Scott Baio and his in-depth explanation of why ‘Joanie Loves Chachi’ only survived one year. You also get a fishing excursion with Gary Busey with the added thrill of watching Busey eat the first catch raw and squirming as he smiles at your disgust.
An auction for coffee with Trump’s daughter Ivanka was cancelled after ethics experts said it was ethically questionable and shouldn’t cost 10 thousand and Five dollars more than a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks.
