Attention fellow junk food junkies! Your FDA would like to ban artificial trans-fats from your food supply.
After an extensive review the agency has decided that they should lose their “generally recognized as safe” status.
Also losing the category of ‘generally recognized as safe’ is Michelle Bachmann, and any number of Congress-people who ‘know what’s good for us’.
Trans fats are being eliminated from our diet faster than you can say “Please pass the “I can’t believe its butter.”
The obesity epidemic in America makes me want to sit in my recliner with a couple handfuls of Cheezits and watch ‘The Biggest loser’.
In what may be a sliver of hope for those who love their snack foods, a national donut chain whose name rhymes with ‘shrunken’ began testing dozens of alternatives in 2003 before settling on a blend of palm, soy and cottonseed oils. Before they made the switch official in 2008, the company sold some 50 million trans-fat-free doughnuts without anyone catching on.
Their slogan is ‘America runs on Duncan’ but I’m thinking not too far and not too fast.
Sometimes the body craves a little fat and that’s when I scoop out the Ben and Jerry’s and top it off with a healthy dollop of Reddi-Whip whose slogan “Let the Fun Out!” just about says it all. By the way, there are 0 grams trans-fat per serving.
Is it about exercise? Waving our arms out the window at the other drivers doesn’t qualify.
Before we know it, all the trans-fat will be gone and our taste buds and arteries could suffer withdrawals. It’s time to start up a trans-fat support group.
In the future you’ll see lights burning late into the night in small meeting halls above defunct bakeries about the time when the donuts are coming out of ovens across town. The password will be Haagen Dazs and we’ll sit around and speak of memorable meals and snacks. We’ll pass the wee hours discussing how good ‘double stuff’ Oreos taste when dipped in a pan of hot chocolate pudding before the ‘trans-fatties confiscated them from the shelves of leading supermarkets everywhere.
It seems that the only thing the FDA doesn’t want to slim down is their budget.