Anti-pot group helps write new legislation

The Drug Free America Foundation, who condemned the Florida medical marijuana initiative and was pounded by a 71.3% approval from voters, is helping write the new pot laws. That’s like Jenny Craig endorsing bacon wrapped pizza rolls.”

“OK, we lost the vote” said conservative financiers Mel and Betty Sembler, “but that won’t stop us from helping to insure a ‘bad head’ for users. Why should they have all the fun? We were raised in an atmosphere that didn’t allow us pleasure so why should we tolerate it in others?

The money we poured into our campaign from the Drug Free America Foundation doesn’t include getting people off opioids, liquor, amphetamines, heroin, tobacco, ecstasy, molly, rohypnol, ketamine, PCP, anabolic steroids and/or bath salts, which are all dead ends, but marijuana is a gateway drug. Its users are prone to ingesting vast amounts of pizza rolls, donuts, Nutella, brownies, cookie dough and any of the Ben and Jerry’s varieties and S’mores. Who knew about S’mores? We want to stop the spread of obesity and that’s our bottom line.

Alice B Toklas, spokesperson for a Jerk Free Florida said, “The legislation should at least not include edibles made with kale. Jesus! kale! Even the best ganja cannot make kale palatable!

Trumplethinskin has said that he’s in favor of medical marijuana, but his Attorney General Jeff Sessions thinks it’s ‘of the devil’ and will throw your grandmother in jail for even having a ‘contact high’.

The process by which the medicinal marijuana is prescribed has taken a turn for the worse. Legislators want you to wait 3 months after seeing a doctor for them to actually write a prescription for your joint. By that time, you could grow your own.