Butterball, the US’s top maker of Thanksgiving turkeys, is having problems delivering large birds to stores around the country. It says “There may be limited availability on some larger sizes of fresh turkeys”

“We experienced a decline in weight of the turkeys in some of our facilities and didn’t know why” said a spokesperson for Butterball.

“We had been feeding them with this new Monsanto genetically modified feed and aside from extra eyes and a tendency to jerk around like little marionettes, everything was the same except for the video screens.

We had video installed in the facility so the birds would have something to watch while they waited around to, you know, ‘meet their baker.’ It was a PETA demand.

We discovered that in their ‘off time’ the birds had been watching some episodes of ‘Extreme Weight Loss’ on ABC. We found this out after we planted a ‘mole’ in the barn. The ‘mole’ was a large chicken who could gobble with the best of them.

The birds were out there exercising and running around the yard like the show ‘Biggest loser.”
Apparently some of them had been in touch with the White house and been signed up for the First lady’s ‘Get Moving’ program. (Another PETA demand)