Where can you get a fast meal with the salt equivalent of ‘Lot’s wife?
Taco Bell announced a nutritional plan. That’s like Gene Simmons seeing a psychiatrist about his ego.
They announced new nutritional plans to have 20 percent of its combo meals meet one-third of the Federal Government’s recommended dietary guidelines by 2020.

That’s 7 years away. They figure that by 2020 we’ll forget what they said because their lobbyists will have prompted legislators to do to dietary guidelines what Dennis Rodman did for diplomacy.

Why does it take so long to implement? It will take that long to replace the saturated fat in the cheese so it doesn’t taste like its container.

One order of Volcano Nachos at Taco Bell will supply 970 calories, 58 grams of fat and 1670 milligrams of sodium, or more than weight watchers allows in a month. It’s low priced, high in calories and with enough sodium to cure a ton of meat in the desert.
One portion size shared among a pack of medium sized Boy Scouts, will keep them alive in the forest for a week.

“Our customer tastes and needs are expanding as fast as their waistlines” says Greg Creed, CEO at Taco Bell.

As a result, says Creed, new products developed at Taco Bell will have to meet entirely new criteria. In the past, besides the taste, the key criteria have been the cost of the ingredients.
“Purchasing inexpensive ingredients like fillers and extenders like cow lips gives us a competitive edge but makes our customer base constantly turn over, pardon the pun.”

Going forward, he says, “the product also will be matched up against the chain’s new nutritional goals and we’re in uncharted territory here. We’re also aware of the food allergies and sensitivities of our consumers. That’s why the only ‘heavy metal’ found in the beef we buy is when the cow has listened to ‘Black Sabbath’.”

“We’re still working on the pronunciation of ‘chipotle’ around here.”