Commencing in Montreux, Switzerland, It was to be the world’s most prestigious co-branded Middle East peace talks, but the Egyptian invitation to the Israeli/Hamas peace talks dubbed ‘Purina Dog Chow/Pepsi One Challenge’ by its sponsors; was rejected by both participants.

“We were hoping for a major falafel sponsor. Is this the best they can do?” said spokes-terrorist Hamid El-Baklava.

In a press release, Schlomo Schpitzik, schpokes-person for the Israeli alliance said “I think it was a mistake to not allow gefilte fish. What do they have against gefilte fish? The gefiltes are running, they’re not out of season yet. We could have gotten them a good price on gefiltes. What?”

A further United Nations invitation to Hamas to attend the peace talks threatened to unravel like a loose ball of string thrown from a low flying drone.

The diplomatic meeting was thwarted with the Hamas opposition angrily objecting to Kraft Food’s signature drink, Pepsi. “We’re a Coca-Cola nation” declared a senior Hamas official, “I will not sit down at a table with Pepsi Cola on it.” He added, “I’m almost sure Mohammed drank Coke.”

Israel at first embraced the invitation, extended by Ban Ki-moon, the United Nations Secretary General, but after receiving a catering menu, in a terse communique, said “Since Velveeta Cheese was to be served during lunch along with hamburgers, we cannot abide ‘milk and meat’ together. It’s a ‘shonda!”

The invitee’s reaction to the talks appeared to surprise the major sponsors of the meeting, Nestle PA and Kraft Foods. A Kraft sponsor who didn’t want to be named said in an internal memo “Should we have called it the ‘Nespresso/Gevalia Talks?’ They all drink coffee, don’t they?”

The previous is social satire and not intended to provoke or hurt anyone. The writer takes all responsibility for any collateral hurt feelings or ‘dinged’ egos to small minded people. We sincerely hope no bigots were harmed in the production of this piece!