Well, that’s it. SCROTUS has gone too far. Just when we need it the most he wants to crack down. Doesn’t he realize it’s an excellent way to keep our sanity through the BS? How can we get through the assault on clean air, clean water, fair labor laws, fair housing standards, anti-discrimination laws, financial protections, food and drug safety, national education standards and withstand an assault on recreational marijuana?

“Even though the District of Columbia has legalized recreational marijuana, I haven’t seen any in the halls of Congress” said Press Secretary Sean Spicer, “although I’ve seen some staffers leaving their offices late at night with a gleam in their eyes and they were republicans. I don’t understand it.

And medicinal marijuana users better not enjoy ‘Their high’ because we’ll seek them out like rabid dogs and make them watch Fox News to bring them down. Don’t they realize there’s a real danger here? Why should they be any happier than a fossil fuel lobbyist?

There’s a very big difference between medical use and recreational use” he said. “This administration wants control and you can’t have control when people are having a good time. Think about the side effects. We can’t have citizens falling asleep on the couch with a hot slice of pepperoni pizza in their hands. That stuff stains.”

Attorney General Jeff ‘The South shall rise again’ Sessions opined that “Marijuana is a ‘gateway drug’ and we need more study.

“A ‘Gateway link’ may have already been found” said Johnny Herbst, a spokesperson for the snack food industry. “With generous grants from Frito-Lay, Ben and Jerry’s and Hot Pockets brands we’ll be able to sit down with young people in a lab setting and watch SNL while ‘toking up’. At that point I’m sure we’ll scientifically establish a link between smoking weed and junk food consumption. After we do that, we’ll fund whatever studies they want. Would you please pass the Nutella?”