Tensions rose between the DPRK, (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) South Korea and the United States when the North Koreans threatened to collectively hold their breath if they didn’t get what they wanted.
This is an escalation of tensions said Secretary of State John Kerry. Up to now ‘ Main Boss Man’ Kim Jong Un’s tactics have consisted of throwing darts at a picture of Barack Obama.
The United States will not accept North Korea as a “nuclear state,” Kerry warned on Tuesday. Instead it will try to placate the young ‘Ruler for Life and Beyond’ by getting him on an episode of the new reality show ‘Dancing with the Dictators.’
North Korea vowed that it would get its main nuclear complex in Yongbyon up and running as soon as they can locate a heavy duty extension cord that will reach into South Korea and plug it into a wall socket at a local 7-11.
The nuclear facility had been re-purposed as a shoe factory. It went bankrupt when the one size they made would only fit their ‘Glorious Leader and Supervisor for all Eternity.’
Precipitating the spat, the United States’ military war games with South Korea included flying B-2 stealth bombers and the North Korean Air Force reciprocated by launching ten thousand kites with exploding bowls of kimche laced with really hot sauce and hoping for a southerly wind.
It was believed for many years that the DPRK had developed a ‘Star Trek’ type cloaking device which covered the entire country. It was actually due to the turning off of all power at night, which the Koreans believed was safer than hiding under the bed they didn’t have.
In this photo, ‘Great Grand Magnificent and Outstanding Marshall of all he Sees’ Kim Jong Un is briefed by his generals. On the wall is a map titled “Plan for the strategic forces to target mainland U.S.” which was conceived it after watching Boris and Natacha’s latest cartoon escapade.
And the pictures of that ‘4th largest army in the world?’ Photoshop!