Ever since in the spring of 2010 when LeBron James said “I’m bringing my tattoos to South Beach” the Heat has been crowned the champ of tats in the NBA.
They display more ink per square foot (Or arm) than the Sunday New York Times.
When they slow down their game you can actually count the animals on their bodies.
“It’s difficult to guard LeBron James” says Tony Parker.
“You’re up close and all of a sudden you’re looking at his arms and wondering ‘Is that a lion or a zebra?’ and then he’s gone and slammed one on you.”
The International Tattoo Artistic Treasures Union (ITATU) has given Chris ‘Birdman’ Anderson their ‘Thank you for providing gainful employment for us’ award. Tommy Lee sent flowers.
“Getting inked is like getting dunked on only less painful” says Anderson whose neck took 3 all day sessions to complete.
The Guinness Book of Records has estimated that if you link all the tattoos of the Miami Heat together and lay them end to end no one outside of Miami would care.