In our quest to stay healthy and out of doctor’s waiting rooms filled with people who need to ‘ask their doctor’, we found out about new Medicare coverage.

It is known as ‘Part EB’ (Early Bird). The ‘Early Bird’ component of Medicare doesn’t kick in at 62 or 65. It kicks in at a specific time of the day and it’s just what the doctor ordered for the older residents of the condo circuit.

If you get sick before 6PM you’re covered. Later that night though, some doctor’s offices will sign you in from an earlier time zone just to get the business.

After an initial consultation you can check into Joe’s Hospital and Diner, the diner with the big red-cross.

You’ll get 1 doctor, a registered waitress and all the beer and wine you can drink. In effect you’re getting Blue Cross, Blue Shield and Blue Nun.

The coverage is only $99.98 a year, and here’s the best part. While you’re under they’ll let a ‘sous chef’ remove any nearby organ for just an additional penny. It’s a teaching hospital and like most private schools in Florida, unaccredited, which means the chef may leave some additional scars while he hunts around for your liver. No extra charge!

Joe’s also employs a reciprocal agreement with selected airlines.

A passenger/patient who doesn’t have decent medical insurance need only buy a ticket to Orlando and, while going through security, get a full body scan thrown in.

The airlines don’t care where you go as long as you’re properly screened. They just add a printer to the unit and bingo, extra revenue for them and an inexpensive medical scan for you.

What about dental? Stick your head in the machine and get a full set of uppers and lowers instead of paying $75 for an x-ray from your dentist.

That’s Joe’s hospital and Diner, the diner with the big red-cross!