University of Florida researchers have devised a technique that turns human waste into rocket fuel. Did this discovery come about as part of a wild weekend in a frat house?
While you’re digesting that sentence, think about the production line this might entail. Students have sold their blood to raise money, why not their human waste?
“It was better than placing bags on a cow’s ass to collect their methane” says David Nawglin, a senior agriculture student. “Watching the herd and trying to see when the next one would ‘flatulize’ was an art, and they weren’t paying us that much. Bagging that crap was like working at Walmart but without the benefits.”
NASA wanted to find ways of disposing of human effluent in their plans to create an inhabitable facility on the moon. Leaving waste matter there was not a viable solution in reducing the weight of returning space-craft., although it would have been hard to enforce.
“We’ve left crap on the moon during each visit said a NASA spokesperson, but this would be real crap and the extreme temperature would have given it the consistency of a diamond. We thought about bringing it back and selling it on Ebay, but who would want to wear something like that on their finger?
Scientists set about trying to determine the amount of methane released from unconsumed food, food packaging material and human excrement. “It was the most horrible research,” said NASA gofer Bill Toomy, “First we had to eat tons of beans and then stay in the room with each other hooked up to sterile tubes which vented the effluvium into canisters. “Think of a vegetarian rest room after a heavy luncheon. That’s what it was like.
Next time I volunteer for something like this, I’ll read the grant proposal first.
If they can figure out how to turn hot air into usable energy, we’ve got an unending source of energy in Washington DC.”
Taking the concept one step further, in Japan, the “Human Waste and Earth’s Future” exhibition at The National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation unveiled their mascot, a ‘sh#t-head wearing big red glasses and a dress. They’re more open to this type of promotion and by the looks of the costume, they don’t sugar coat it either.
If Walt Disney had more of an ‘offbeat’ sense of humor, this pseudo-Disney character would have to spend most of their time fending off comments from the public during a meet and greet. Surprised the pic hasn’t gone viral.
