Federal agents gathered in a field near Detroit armed with crime scene tape and digging equipment for their annual “Let’s find Jimmy Day’ outing.

After receiving a ‘tip’ from ‘reputed’ ‘former’ ‘alleged’ ‘Mafia’ ‘captain’ Tony ‘have some more scungilli’ Zerilli, the FBI once again failed to find a trace of Jimmy Hoffa.

Hoffa has been allegedly missing for almost 40 years. Allegedly born in 1913, he was declared allegedly dead in 1982, seven years after he was allegedly killed.

Hoffa, the formerly live Teamsters leader, has been rumored to be buried in numerous fields, sports arenas, restaurant kitchens, bowling alleys and under the Congressional barber shop.

At the time of his ‘demise’ he was reputed to be covered with either concrete, live squids, quicksand, a Chevy Nova, and/or over 50 dresses owned by J. Edgar Hoover.

The search for what’s left has spawned a new department in the Federal Bureau. It’s called the ‘Let’s Just keep Searching for Him’ department.

It has been funded with a grant from the ‘Former made guys who want closure group’ whose motto is ‘We do not engage in intimidation, extortion, narcotics distribution, money laundering, arson, stolen goods, prostitution and firearms trafficking and never tolerate those who do unless there’s something in it for us.”

The excavated field in Oakland Township near the Detroit area will now be turned into a theme park by its owners who happen to be related by marriage to Zenilli, with rides like the ‘Trip to Nowhere’ in a 1965Bonneville trunk, “It’s a Moll World’ and the ‘Tower of Terror’ where you get grilled and must ‘give up’ personal information before you can continue the tour.

For the dig, the FBI brought in heavy equipment, cadaver dogs and a film crew from the VH1 reality show Mob Wives.