With the rising price of jet fuel, airlines have devised ever more imaginative methods to reduce the weight of their aircraft and save money with programs like the ‘Really skinny people with no baggage fare’.
In the real news, Delta announced it’s shrinking the size of its airlines bathrooms so it can add four more seats in every plane. The tiny sink will now be ‘soap dish size’ with no room for soap and you’ll wipe your hands on your pants. The ‘Mile high’ club is now closed!
More ways to generate revenue:
A threshold charge: When you actually step onto the airplane. There’s nothing you can do about this except ask to be stowed with the animals and be near death from the cold.
Buy a snack or a meal: None of these options are nutritious or filling unless you count the bread which seems to be 90% of the sandwich.
Your snack consists of; (A tiny box of about 17 Sun-Maid raisins) mixed nuts, (A tiny package of about 17 mixed nuts including 8 to 10 peanuts, 3 or 4 pecans, 2 cashews, 1 filbert and one half brazil nut (If you’re lucky), and something that made it through the sorters ‘weeding out’ process which will not kill you.
Seat selection: Here’s an area that can make or break a long flight. You can take your chances and be wedged between someone who snores and a crying infant or pay extra for an aisle seat. A ‘super’ premium aisle seat would mean sitting next to a very thin person (See: The ‘Really skinny people with no baggage fare’.)
Have you had enough? No? Ryan Air, an inexpensive European airline announced plans to renovate its 250 aircraft to feature a “standing room only” section to boost the number of passengers and reduce fares.
“We continue to look at historic forms of travel and see how they can be made better,” Stephen McNamara, the head of communications for Ryanair said. The “historic forms of travel include riding a Conestoga wagon across the country and anything would be better than that” he laughingly mentioned.
The “vertical seats” will take the place of 10 rows of traditional seating and two bathrooms knowing that you can ‘hold it’ longer while you’re standing.
If approved, flights could hold an additional 40 to 50 unhappy passengers.
Helpful hints:
Bring some pocket change for the Coin operated oxygen masks
You can read lips for free on the movie screens.