A new law passed by the Florida legislature makes it illegal to drive slowly in the left lane. If you are caught driving 10 mph under the speed limit in the fast lane, you could face a $60 fine under what’s being called the “road rage bill.”

There they go re-defining ‘road rage’. Hey, we know ‘road rage’. We wrote the book!

We drivers have been maligned, cursed at and looked down upon. We rank right behind Congress.

There are more of us than the entire A.A.R.P., AFL CIO and A.S.P.C.A. and with a group this huge one would expect our impact to be larger than the Oil lobby.

But no, my friends we are scattered, individual and without representation. If we should band together and act as one, our influence could halt the unwanted tweets of Kim Kardashian.

Who are we? We’re the largest unregulated, unrepresented and leaderless group of Americans, the bad drivers.
We get yelled at in traffic for cutting in front at the exit, coasting through a stop sign or driving slower than you in the left lane. Enough with the disrespect!

Let’s unionize!

It doesn’t it matter if we don’t have a license. That hasn’t stopped us. So what if we don’t know the ‘so called ‘rules of the road’? Does it matter that our ego prevents us from letting anyone in front of us? No!

All we need is a vehicle, a smart phone and a ‘me first attitude’.

Once we form a union, we’ll have the clout to say, ‘who are you to tell me how to drive’? Yes, banding together means never having to say “yes, officer, that was me”. Imagine having someone who drives just like you, represent you in court.

We’re not the Elks the Moose or the Lions, but we are animals nonetheless. What separates us from them? How about the law?

There’ll be no dues, no slogans and most importantly, no messy rules and regulations to memorize. Instead of an official handshake, we’ll only use one finger.

The initiation for new members will simply be a trip on the highway, any highway because your brothers, yes and your sisters are there. They’ll be watching you and when you do something stupid on the road and you’ll see that one finger salute and know you’re ‘home’!

We’ll all be equal on the road; from the hybrid to the Hummer, the slow boat to the speedster. Every time a hotshot on a motorcycle zips in and out of traffic, we, in the sanctity of our own car can open the window and salute!

They’ll know what you mean!