Let’s get away from the clusterf%#k in Washington DC and look at some real (Not alternate facts although you may have a hard time swallowing (Please, not literally) this one) Ashley Glawe (No pronunciation given) posted a picture of herself in a hospital ER on her Facebook page.

She posted to say she was holding her pet snake, Bart, when it slithered through a hole in her ear. It’s important to note while you’re trying to decide if this picture has been ‘photo-shopped’ that from the ‘look’ Ashley was going for, a snake would definitely be part of the couture.

“It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late…”

She said she was really worried about her Ball Python and the fact that the diners at Cheesecake Factory might have a hard time concentrating on their orders. “I could have taught Bart to hold my pen in its mouth until I needed it” she said, “but my customers might not understand.”

She told friends online that doctors “numbed my ear, stretched it more, and lubed him up to get him through without having to cut my ear… THANK GOD” she said.  “And now I can shove a can of Pepsi Zero Sugar® through the hole. My friends will be so envious!”

Bart the snake is said to be fine and pursuing a legal case through PETA