How do we, as alert consumers, really know that Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, is made with 4 cheeses? With all the ‘cutting back and downsizing’ how do we know it’s not just 3 cheeses? Where’s the quality control?

Whose job is it to track the number of cheeses that go into the mix?

For that matter, 2,000 Flushes: Does someone count?

What a dead end job. What if we lose count? We can’t start over. Do they actually have an employee sit down next to a toilet and count the number of flushes to justify the advertising? The duct tape people probably don’t go around taping things together to see how it holds, although that seems to be a lot more fun than sitting in the john all day and scrutinizing the blue water.

It was a slow day and I decided to put it to the test. I figured the benchmark amount was a standard American flush of 3.5 gallons which to the average American is between 6 to 800 liters of liquid.

At 9AM Monday morning I started flushing. It was thrilling to see the water turn a bright blue but that faded by 9:15. Not the water, but the feeling. At noon I took a lunch break. I thought of my skyrocketing water bill but I figured the testing was for the ‘public good’ and not to worry. Maybe I could get J.D. Power and Associates to cover the cost.

After lunch I went back to the bathroom. My wife kept asking what I was doing in there. “Research” I yelled through the closed door and continued flushing.

It was starting to get old. They couldn’t pay someone enough to do that sort of job every day. What could you compare it to, a toll both operator? At least there are different cars. What if I hired someone to do the job and they lost count? I’d be, as they say, ‘in the crapper’. I’ve got to see this through.

That night I went to sleep counting blue sheep and dreamed of the Hoover Dam flowing over the top.

It was difficult keeping this up, but I wanted to be ‘flush with success.’ I experienced a form of ‘carpal toilet syndrome’ as the testing was coming to an end. I was up to 1856 flushes as the water ate away at the last vestiges of the tablet.

Sorry 2,000 Flushes. I’m sure your marketing department figured the name ‘1856 flushes’ didn’t sound as sexy as 2,000 and thank you for not producing a giant economy size, I would have been in there all week.