Shortages of critical consumer products in Japan and Venezuela alert governments to action. At opposite ends of the body, citizens are reaching out for an answer.

With a possible toilet paper shortage in Japan, September is ‘Toilet Paper Awareness Month’. Millions of people take part in an annual drill every Sept. when, during a given day at the crack of dawn they symbolically ‘go’ together as a nation.

And ‘boob jobs’ are getting rare in Venezuela due to restrictive currency controls which deprive local businesses of the cash to import foreign goods.

With quality implants approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration getting scarce, Venezuelan women can no longer proudly say their breasts are ‘Made in America’.

“Chinese implants just don’t work” says Anita Bazumba, exotic dancer and dental assistant. “Men stare at you, walk away and come back in an hour. We demand constant stares.”

Facing a scarcity of brand-name breast implants, desperate women and their doctors are turning to alternate methods. “In the old days before implants, women would stuff their bras with toilet paper” said government spokesperson Jose ‘Pepito’ Calderon. Apparently, due to current demand, this practice has caused a valued trading partner, Japan, some issues.”

“It’s worse than day old sushi” said Fujita ‘Boo Boo’ Nakamora. “Nearly half of the toilet paper supply is produced in one of Japan’s most earthquake-prone areas.

“When we get ‘The big one’ we’ll be in trouble. We don’t need to export this precious commodity so Venezuelan women can experience ‘The big one’ or two for that matter.”