‘El Chapo’ apprehended, NAFTA in turmoil

Mexico’s most wanted cocaine kingpin Joaquin Guzman, AKA ‘Shorty’, ‘El Chapo’, ‘short snort’, the littlest outlaw’, the ‘tiny terror’ and the Frito Bandito, has been captured by U.S. and Mexican law enforcement officials. Upon capture he snarled “I lose my marijuana market in Colorado and now this.” He is the highest profile drug cartel leader […]

Winners in startling new Olympic categories

“These will be the Olympic games you will remember” intoned Vladimir Putin “Try not to think about the lack of potable water, no door knobs and stray dogs in your room, the Russian people love you! By the way, there’s no truth to the rumor that we embedded chips that monitor clandestine activity in those […]