Baptists to ‘start own scouting units’ after ‘cutting ties’ with Boy Scout troops for admitting gays.

“It’s not a hate thing here,” said Tim Reed, Pastor of First Baptist Church of Gravel Ridge in Jacksonville, Arkansas “It’s a moral stance we must take to uphold traditional values like women staying home and raising their children, the only true marriage is between men and women and allowing Michelle Bachmann’s husband ‘de-program’ as many gays as possible to get this thing from spreading too far.”

Reed said “I’m sure that now they’ll demand a ‘chorus line’ merit badge; but ‘Broadway Shows’ is not traditional scouting.”

Did he think that Neil Patrick Harris would personally tutor scouts on their Broadway choreographers merit badge?

He went on to say that “They’ll probably start selling cookies like the girl scouts too”

The ‘Bapti-Scouts’ will be a little different than the traditional boy Scouts because they will adhere to the ‘word’ in the Bible. For example scouting lessons will include naming all the animals on the Ark, how to give a sermon and identifying people who are ‘different’ but look just like you and I.

Baptist churches nationally sponsor nearly 4,000 Scout units representing more than 100,000 youths, according to the Boy Scouts of America but if you take away the Hispanic scouts, the Jewish scouts, black scouts, the ones with only one parent, those whose families speak with an accent, any accent, those with relatives outside the US, ‘that kind of influence found in ‘large east or west coast cities’ and what have you got; hardly any ‘traditional’ Southern Baptists left.

Boy Scout leader John Stemberger, founder of OnMyHonor.net, says it supports ‘Scouting’s timeless values and their opposition to open homosexuality in the Scouts. The press release mentions that the word ‘timeless’ refers to the nineteenth century only and that if you wish to be dragged into the 21st, then scouting may not be for you.