This article, in no way refers to Fanny May, a fine Chicago chocolate company since 1920, although it is easy for Americans to confuse it with Fanny Mae, a government-sponsored entity chartered by Congress which provides money to mortgage lenders, strengthening the U.S. housing and mortgage markets.
Even Elly May, Jed Clampett’s curvy tom-boy type daughter who co-starred in ‘The Beverly Hillbillies from 1962 through 1971 is sometimes confused with Fanny and Freddie Mac or even Ginnie Mae, the Government National Mortgage Association (GNMA) as a relative.
Which brings us to a case of mistaken identity.
“They said they were gonna to do it, but we never thought in a month of Sundays it would really happen!” said Jed Clampett, Elly May’s father. “Usually they take over places like banks and other large companies, but WHEE Doggy!!! Takin’ over my 26 year old daughter just blew me away! I’m shocked because this is Beverly Hills!! Where were they when we were poor mountaineers and I barely kept my family fed? I could have used some help back then.
Seriously, I knew Elly May was hanging out with the wrong crowd and this proves it. I might’a knowd somethin’ was up when she was talkin’ about some kind of de-stabil-i-zation. I thought she meant the trailer out back was slippin’ off its bricks.
Why, they even took over her girlfriend Fanny Mae! Jethro was befuddled, but that’s nothing new to us, he’s been that way since his 3rd grade teacher whacked him upside the head with a hickory stick the size of a Louisville Slugger.”
“Them federal regulators are probably related to the revenuers that kept a’ houndin’ me and it’s gotta stop! They told me it was investor confidence and security made ‘em do it. Heck if they want security me and my squirrel gun, will be up there quicker’n you can say ‘quasi government entity!’
Reminds me of the day I was shootin’ at some food and up from the ground come some bubblin’ crude. I thought we had it made with the rise in oil prices, but then I had to backpedal some when a passel of my investments in pork belly futures turned sour, thanks to some vegetarian lobby, and we had to consolidate some energy related equities and taxable bonds just to maintain a percentage of liquidity that enabled us to stay ahead of the international re-allocation curve in relation to a core fixed income fund that….that, I uh….whoa! Where was I?
Any ways, Jethro was whittlin’ him a switch on the front porch when these suits rush past him all atwitter, bust in the door and start screaming this and that, something about “Where’s Elly May?” They looked like they come from some funeral, all dressed in black. Well, when they calmed down a bit, said they were from Washington and was this 518 Crestview Drive? I said, no and sent ‘em off to the Drysdale’s place next door. Bein’ bankers and all, they might even know these fellers.
Wouldn’t you know quick thinkin’ granny grabs the phone to see if we could get enough cash money from our credit line, load up the truck and head back to the hills. When we get back there, we’re gonna take our shoes off and set a spell. Looks like a rough ride. Y’all watch out fer them Washington fellers, they slicker than lipstick on a pig.”