Comcast is quietly promoting a new “Internet Plus” package for its broadband customers that will include Internet, some basic TV channels, plus HBO/HBO Go, for $40 or $50 per month.

How did Comcast arrive at this low price point?

Easy: Recycle! The basic TV channels will include reruns of ‘Celebrity Boxing’, ‘My Mother the Car’ and the ‘Jerry Springer Show’.

“These shows are locked into America’s ‘comfort zone’ because when viewers tune in, they know what will happen. There’ll be a fight or the car breaks down” said Jim Brogan, head of network sleeze.

For another $40 a month “We’ll actually listen to your complaint recorded on our customer service line instead of automatically trashing it.”

“That’s a big step for us” Says sales rep Ken Bafulnik “We know our customer service is on a par with Congressional ratings so listening to you will be a priority.” In the past, our policy of ‘Tell them everything and deliver nothing’ hasn’t worked that well.”

The promotional pricing will last for 12 months; after that, the price jumps $140 per month for six months before climbing to an industry record $250 a month, unless you can negotiate a better deal. “And you can’t” says Bafulnik, “We’re just saying that in the small print which no one reads. I hope this makes the small print, because if it doesn’t, I’m out.”

Here’s some valuable information. If you call and get customer service in the Phillipines or India, you can ask to be connected to a rep in the US. Actually they’re just sending the call to someone without a discernible accent. They’re still overseas, in an entry level position have no ‘juice’ to help you.

By the way, we hire the same people who write the phone bills. Don’t try to figure them out (The bills, not the people) unless you have a PHD and even that’s not enough.