Starbucks, a strong coffee, has taken a strong position.

The Seattle-based company has run full-page ads in major newspapers, telling customers that guns are no longer welcome in its cafes.

“We are not pro-gun or anti-gun,” CEO Howard Schultz said in an interview, noting that customers will still be served if they choose to a carry gun, however they’ll only be served non-caffeinated coffees so as not to further agitate them.

We realize that while people need that caffeine ‘boost’ during their day, sometimes it pushes them a little too far and that’s not good when they’re packing.”

Part of the brand’s attraction is the company’s liberal-leaning support of issues such as gay marriage, environmental preservation and the right to not be shot by another customer.

“Above all”, said a spokesperson, “we don’t want to put our employees in a position which may cause them to laugh at a gun toting macho man when he orders a shaken iced passion tea.

We’re not total wimps here. Unlike the FAA, we still allow nunchucks, meat cleavers, swords, crowbars and cattle prods.”

Remember, an espresso shot is better than a gun-shot!