Hey bartender, didn’t I leave a big enough tip?

Sometimes it just tastes like 'Teen Spirit'
Sometimes it just tastes like ‘Teen Spirit’
Sometimes you’ve got to step away from New Jersey’s traffic, cost of living and assorted bodies in the Pine Barrens and go to one of the State’s fine drinking establishments to get away from it all.

But as part of a yearlong probe New Jersey State investigators uncovered, at least in one bar, a scheme to ‘water down’ drinks with a mixture that included rubbing alcohol and caramel coloring sold as scotch. As it happens this concoction may have done far less damage than those famous over-sized submarine sandwiches.

It was dubbed, A, Operation ‘Rotgut’’, B, Operation ‘Swill’, or C, Operation ‘Bartender, there’s something in my drink and it’s not drink’. (Answer below)

Many who found out what they were served surprisingly said “It was some of the best s**t they ever had” and said “No problem” because it was a 2 for 1 special. Also the hangover was surprisingly mild.

Twenty-nine New Jersey bars and restaurants, including 13 TGI Fridays, were accused of substituting cheap booze (or worse) for the good stuff while charging premium prices. Patrons were shocked when they ordered a ‘Pineapple Chipotle Dishwater Margarita’ and thought it was just the name of the newest drink.

In another bar, premium liquor bottles were refilled with water – and apparently not even clean water at that. State officials would not say what establishment used the rubbing alcohol or which one used dirty water, or water not from a tap.

They said no health issues were reported because New Jersey had some of the most potent tap water in the country.

State Attorney General Jeffrey Chiesa said.as part of the operation, investigators

collected 1,000 open bottles of vodka, gin, rum, scotch, whiskey and tequila from the wells of the bars. That Friday they locked the doors of their offices and had a party for anyone who even thought they would retire someday.

He added, “This alleged scheme was a dishonest ruse to increase profits and prove to the patrons that yes, the show ‘Jersey Shore’ was indeed as hard hitting as ’60 Minutes.’

It was ‘Swill.’