A nonprofit foundation wants to recruit a man and a woman, hopefully a married couple, for a bare-bones, 501-day journey to Mars and back. That’s one day and 500 nights with all the oxygen they can breathe.

The $1 billion plus journey would be privately funded by donations and sponsorships. A spokesperson for the Mars Candy Company said, “We could be the ideal sponsor for this journey and will provide all the Skittles® the couple can eat.

The ship would have to be launched in less than five years to take advantage of a rare planetary alignment bringing the spacecraft to within150 miles of the surface of Mars before returning to Earth.
The second trip would land on the red planet and the hope is that by 2021 the first interstellar Subway/Starbucks/Dunkin’ Donuts would open with a limited menu.

A married couple would be preferred for the compatibility factor during the long period of isolation. That would narrow the choice to couples who do not have a computer or a smart phone and actually speak to each other more often than when they’re walking the dog.

Two of the first volunteers, Mildred and Seymour Hockenstein told interviewers that if they could survive a summer in Connecticut in a small cottage with only one bathroom, they could endure the long journey to mars.

They later confided that her brother-in-law was such a pain in the ass that just getting away where his incessant pleadings for money couldn’t bother them would be well worth it.

Despite the cost of the trip, the accommodations are a Spartan 600 cubic feet with each “absolutely having the dexterity” to scratch the other’s back as needed.

A system that recycles air, water, urine and perspiration would be utilized with the ability to perspire heavily being of paramount importance if the couple would like a ‘real quick’ shower every few months or so.

The crew would spend much of their time maintaining their habitat, playing scrabble and keeping in touch with people on Earth through ‘Space-Book’.