Eurozone countries Greece, Portugal and Spain have now been joined by Italy in proclaiming ‘hey, we’re not totally broke, but we can’t loan you gas money’. ‘Go see Germany’. The amount of Italian debt held by foreigners is nearly 800 billion Euros. If they do what Zimbabwe did; produce a 10 billion dollar banknote, they could pay off their debts with ‘pocket change’. A solution like that might not make the ‘Eurozone’ happy, but hey, take it for a moonlight stroll on the Champs-Élysées and engage in sweet talk après the chocolate mousse at Phillipe et Jean Pierre’s bistro while sipping some Henriot Cuvee des Enchanteleurs 1995 Brut to while away the pre-dawn fog. Believe me, after a night like that they’ll forget all about the economy until they get home and their head starts to hurt when their economic minister reads them the riot act.
But back to Italy….
Italy’s Prime Minister Mario Monti’s government is implementing a series of austerity measures worth 20bn euros saying ‘We can’t go back to the Lira, there’s not enough room in the country for that much paper”.
Italians look at austerity as they look at driving cars in Rome; you’ll probably get there, but it’ll be dangerous.
The initial plan shook the Italian business community when the government wanted to implement a ‘value added tax’ to everything, including the traditional morning ‘caffé e latte’. The people said it was too ‘British’.
The next plan was to close up shop and take lunch from 11AM through 5PM but the people said it was too ‘French’.
They went back to the drawing board, drank some more caffé and started thinking a lot. What do you think of when you visit Italy? The food! Can’t get away from it.
So they’re instituting a P.A.T. or a pasta added tax.
Pasta will be added to every sale, deal and vacation package in the country. Starting when you order a typical Italian breakfast of Caffé and croissant or sweet roll you get a side of pasta. When you check into your room there’s a pasta dish next to the complimentary Pellegrino. You’ll even get pasta in coach when you fly Al Italia, although the Bolognese will be watered down.
This will help boost the flour, olive oil and egg sectors. Chefs will hire extra help. They’ll need boxers, loaders and drivers. Pasta is inexpensive to produce, but it’s all about the chi chi presentation. They’ll have to hire more decorators. What about the sauces? In alphabetical order there’s Alfredo, Arrabbiata, Bologne, Carbonara, Genovese, Marinara, Pomodoro, Puttanesca, and Zabaglione! The sauce production alone will have the entire population of Roma on the job! Chase it all with a bottle of local vino during that nice long lunch break and when you’re drifting off to sleep who can think about the money?