In an effort to thwart the government’s class-action lawsuit against President-elect Donald Trump and his now-defunct Trump University, Trump’s attorneys filed a motion to delay until after the presidential inauguration. They also asked for a motion from the court to downgrade the charges since they said, the courses were on a public high school level and not an accredited university.

Josh Dewey, lead lawyer, said “Look, we misspoke; the courses weren’t really up to university standards, they were geared to the Trump follower who didn’t ask too many tough questions.”

Trump’s lawyers further contended that Trump University not so much failed on its promise to teach success in real estate but taught a valuable life lesson to students who paid ridiculous amounts to learn practically nothing about course subjects they signed up for. “These are lessons they need to know when dealing with people like the Donald. We sincerely hope they learned something from the experience. Experience is a great teacher.”

They argued that U.S. District Judge Gonzalo Curiel would not be acceptable because he had graduated from a ‘real university’ and therefore more than understood the ersatz educational implications of ‘Trump U’. “He would be prejudiced against us because of his exceptional educational and legal background”.

“You may as well just graduate from a public high school” said Curiel, “At least there you would cultivate some ‘Facebook friends’ who would help occupy your ‘down time’ when you’re looking for a job.”
“When this is all over” said trump’s lawyers, “”we’ll revamp our curricula and offer basic courses like English for illegal immigrants and science for climate deniers.”