A PETA lawyer acting for a coalition of Zika mosquitos has filed a lawsuit to expand the so called 1 square mile ‘Zika zone’ in the Wynwood area of Miami. “Why are we limited to just the one square mile” said an adult Zika carrying pest, “ it’s a really short life span and my friends and I would like to see Miami Beach and the Keys before we die. This limited area thing is BS!”

“They’re discriminating against ‘insect Americans’ here and it’s a crime, said the PETA spokesperson, “I’ve seen zombies lurching through the streets late at night and what do they do? They hold ‘zombie nights’ for them at clubs. We should get equal treatment.”

Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado walked the area to show people that it’s safe. He urged support of the businesses in the affected area. He was clad in long sleeves, wore gloves, a hoody and large sunglasses over a masque of white zinc covering the rest of his face. In addition he had a coterie of

“We came from the slums and now have a chance to see America’s fun spots before we expire. We’re just like undocumented aliens except we fly and infect people.”