What’s the answer to the Turkey Point nuclear reactor’s problems?

The answer is ‘spinning’

To some, spinning is like walking on an airport moving sidewalk backwards. It doesn’t feel like you’re making any progress; almost like trying to reach a compromise with the tea party. It’s also a lot like Congress; there’s a lot of movement and you’re not going anywhere with a lot of other people who are not going anywhere.

In spinning, you get on a stationary bicycle and pedal, unlike being outside where the fun is trying to avoid being sideswiped by distracted drivers. To be fair, it puts you on a bike but not in garish bike jock tight fitting uniforms with the extra-large lettering.

Spinning class is for people who like to ride a bicycle and not have to wear those helmets that make you look like you’re going somewhere fast while you’re standing still.

The only fun in a monotonous exercise class like this is when the leader playfully yells, “Watch out for that truck” or “They’re throwing bottles at you….Duck!!”

All that energy, and it’s not being put to good use. The main wheel of a stationary bike could generate some serious electricity.

Let’s connect those wheels to a generator. We’ll hook up all the health clubs and send the excess power to the Turkey Point nuclear power plant. I think they need our help because the south Florida electric grid is about as stable as Donald Trump’s brain when he’s thinking about Hillary Clinton.

Speaking of natural predators, according to the Turkey Point website, the endangered American crocodile freely roams the protected wetlands and mangrove habitat of the plant cooling system. Watch for red glowing eyes at night when they roam too close to the towers.

When more people spin, less nuclear power is needed so we can ‘Go Green’ and ‘get the red out’. The crocs thank you.