Good news! The Florida hurricane catastrophe fund now has $17 billion to pay all claims in case of hurricane damage. The bad news; try and get it.
The Florida Attorney General’s office (motto: ‘See our lobbyists for details’) issued a statement saying that; “The fund is in good shape, and our citizens want to keep it that way. If anyone even tries to make a claim, we’ll utilize the full weight of the prosecutor’s office to prove their claims bogus and that the money belongs to the State.
Governor Scott along with 3 members of his cabinet is in charge of the fund, so what could possibly go wrong?”
In other news…. Scott is figuring out what he would shut down if the State Government comes to a halt if it doesn’t get funded after July 1st.
Top of the list is teacher pay. “As long as students can’t take tests due to the botched system this year (Not our fault!), each teacher will have to take up a collection from their students at the end of the school year in order to get paid. That’s a given” said Scott.
“Note to the 850,000 Florida citizens that fall into the Medicaid coverage gap: Let’s take a tip and follow the many TV commercials which tell us to ‘ask our doctor’. If you don’t have one; ask anybody in a white coat, you may get lucky.
Revenues from intersection cameras from Miami-Dade County alone could fund this State for the next 6 months.
By the way, I’d rather save a poor defenseless turtle than a poor person who needs health care. That could cost the state money!”
